Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Funny News - Amazon's New "Fire TV" Shares Name With Porn Site
Oops! Someone searching online for info about Amazon's brand-new "Fire TV" might be in for a bit of a surprise. CNBC is reporting that Amazon's new online video media streaming and gaming-set box device shares a name with an online porn website. On Wednesday Amazon revealed its own "Fire TV" in an effort to capture a spot in our living rooms offer its own content services. Users who enter the NSFW website firetv.com into their browsers might get something very different as firetv.com is actually the home of an on-demand pornography service. The porn website, which is officially named "Fyre TV", apparently bought the firetv.com domain and has been around since 2008. Paid members can easily stream explicit XXX content straight to their TVs through Roku along with other 3rd party set-top boxes. It's quite an uncomfortable circumstance for Amazon, as the term "amazon" itself could take on a whole new meaning on the alternate sight.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
30 Most Annoying Phrases and Terms Ever Used
Here are the top 30 most annoying terms, words, metaphors and phrases ever:
1 - "No offense, but...."
You know if someone says that before they say what they're gonna say.. it's probably going to be offensive.
2- "My bad"
My mistake is what you really mean..or I screwed up.
3- "It is what it is"
And what is that?
4-"Needless to say"
If it's needless to say then why are you saying it? Is needless a word?
5- "Don't go there"
Oh I'm sorry. Is this topic of discussion off limits?
6- "Anywho"
Anywho? Who is any? You're just trying to move along the discussion.
7-"Worst case scenario"
Thanks for letting me know what is probably going to happen. It's never good.
8- "I'm not a fan"
Not a fan? Oh how polite of you. Just say you don't like something
9- "Yolo"
I will kill you and you only die once too.
10- "To be honest"
Great. Thanks for making me question the sincerity behind everything else you might say!
11- "Tell us how you really feel"
Since that was how I really felt, I will now tell you a lie. Oh how lovely condescending comments really help forward a discussion.
12- "Just sayin'"
Ohh...I thought you were singing.
13- "Seriously?"
No. Just make me repeat it for no reason.
14- "I'm in your camp"
Great. Let's make some s'mores and go snipe hunting.
15 -"I hate to say it, but I told you so"
Shut up. You love to say I told you so because you were right, and I was wrong.
16- "Don't take this the wrong way"
This immediately makes me go on the defense.
17- "Literally!"
This word is literally Overused..and literally annoying as hell.
18- "Sorry not sorry"
If you're not sorry then don't say sorry. BTW I'm not sorry either.
19 -"Boys will be boys"
But I expected them to be unicorns
20 -"Why you hatin?"
I'm not hatin', I just don't like that person
21- "To be fair"
You're just trying to make excuses for someone or justify a situation.
22- "Whatever"
This timeless blow-off will probably never grow old or go out of style.. whatever
23- "Just to play devils advocate"
Shut up...You just want to argue.
24- "Here's the thing"
I smell a big "but' coming on
25 -"The ball is in your court"
In that case I will keep in or throw it for my dog to fetch.
26 - "Are we on the same page?"
I didn't realize we characters in a book
27 - "You're barking up the wrong tree"
Now you just compared me to a dog. Thanks!
28 -"Why don't you grow a pair?"
If you're talking about testicles, and you're talking to a woman then you have a problem. If you're talking to a man, you just insulted his sack.
29 - "That's just the way the cookie crumbles"
If a cookie were to crumble, I would hope it would be in your mouth
30 - "Get a life"
As in living? If I'm alive and talking to you, then clearly I'm not dead.
1 - "No offense, but...."
You know if someone says that before they say what they're gonna say.. it's probably going to be offensive.
2- "My bad"
My mistake is what you really mean..or I screwed up.
3- "It is what it is"
And what is that?
4-"Needless to say"
If it's needless to say then why are you saying it? Is needless a word?
5- "Don't go there"
Oh I'm sorry. Is this topic of discussion off limits?
6- "Anywho"
Anywho? Who is any? You're just trying to move along the discussion.
7-"Worst case scenario"
Thanks for letting me know what is probably going to happen. It's never good.
8- "I'm not a fan"
Not a fan? Oh how polite of you. Just say you don't like something
9- "Yolo"
I will kill you and you only die once too.
10- "To be honest"
Great. Thanks for making me question the sincerity behind everything else you might say!
11- "Tell us how you really feel"
Since that was how I really felt, I will now tell you a lie. Oh how lovely condescending comments really help forward a discussion.
12- "Just sayin'"
Ohh...I thought you were singing.
13- "Seriously?"
No. Just make me repeat it for no reason.
14- "I'm in your camp"
Great. Let's make some s'mores and go snipe hunting.
15 -"I hate to say it, but I told you so"
Shut up. You love to say I told you so because you were right, and I was wrong.
16- "Don't take this the wrong way"
This immediately makes me go on the defense.
17- "Literally!"
This word is literally Overused..and literally annoying as hell.
18- "Sorry not sorry"
If you're not sorry then don't say sorry. BTW I'm not sorry either.
19 -"Boys will be boys"
But I expected them to be unicorns
20 -"Why you hatin?"
I'm not hatin', I just don't like that person
21- "To be fair"
You're just trying to make excuses for someone or justify a situation.
22- "Whatever"
This timeless blow-off will probably never grow old or go out of style.. whatever
23- "Just to play devils advocate"
Shut up...You just want to argue.
24- "Here's the thing"
I smell a big "but' coming on
25 -"The ball is in your court"
In that case I will keep in or throw it for my dog to fetch.
26 - "Are we on the same page?"
I didn't realize we characters in a book
27 - "You're barking up the wrong tree"
Now you just compared me to a dog. Thanks!
28 -"Why don't you grow a pair?"
If you're talking about testicles, and you're talking to a woman then you have a problem. If you're talking to a man, you just insulted his sack.
29 - "That's just the way the cookie crumbles"
If a cookie were to crumble, I would hope it would be in your mouth
30 - "Get a life"
As in living? If I'm alive and talking to you, then clearly I'm not dead.
Monday, March 17, 2014
5 Funny Celebrities Tweets About Today's Earthquake
Emile Hirsch
A lot of guys in LA just got credit for being much better in the sack than they deserve credit for. #earthquake
— Emile Hirsch (@EmileHirsch) March 17, 2014
Dane Cook
That earthquake caused a entire row of Oreo's to fall into my mouth.
— Dane Cook (@DaneCook) March 17, 2014
Jimmy Kimmel
here's how it goes now..."oh my God, earthquake...where's my phone? I have to tweet!"
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) March 17, 2014
Zach Braff
Sorry LA, that was me. I farted.
— Zach Braff (@zachbraff) March 17, 2014
Arsenio Hall
I think my Shamrocks are shaking Ho! 6:25 #4.4 http://t.co/uGvB7hseL6
— Arsenio Hall (@ArsenioHall) March 17, 2014
Howie Mandel
I dvrd the quake so I'm just feeling it now
— Howie Mandel (@howiemandel) March 17, 2014
Monday, March 10, 2014
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
5 Ways to Get Out of Eating Food You Don't Like at Dinner
It happens to everyone sooner or later. You are a dinner guest at someones house.. it could be a relative, in laws, friends or peers. They have prepared food for you. Some of it might even be a special recipe. You are hungry. They pump up how GOOD this food is and how everyone LOVES it.. but when you try it.. you don't like it. Or perhaps they have prepared a specific dish with ingredients or spices that you simply don't like - spinach, curry, rosemary, jalapeno peppers, etc. What do you do? You only have a few options
1 - The most polite thing to do is to force feed yourself and stick it out. You don't want to be rude and even though you might not like what you're eating, you just force it down like bad medicine. This is the right thing to do but sometimes people hate certain ingredients SO much that it makes them gag.
2 - Chew it but then spit it out into the napkins. Yeah, you're probably going to get caught and there is only so much you can fit into that napkin. Plus if it's not disposable... what are you going to do with that napkin.
3- Fill up on side dishes. Fill up on the rice. Fill up on the mash potatoes. Fill up on veggies. Eat a very minimal amount of the main dish. It will look like you ate more than you actually did.
4 - Plead sickness. ie "I'm not hungry".. or "my stomach is bother me for some reason" .. now BE SURE you say this BEFORE they serve the food because you don't want to imply that their food made you sick.
5- Put it in your pockets, take it to the bathroom and flush it down the toilet. You need to be really sneaky about this. Nobody can see you stuffing the food in your pockets. If they you get caught, you're going to have a really difficult time explaining yourself. If you are
able to pull this off without anyone noticing, find a good time to excuse yourself and make a b-line to the b-room. Then you need to break up the food so that you don't stuff up the toilet. If you stuff up the toilet with the food that you supposedly "ate"... yeah that's the worst thing that could possibly happen.
TWO THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO:
1- FEED IT TO THE DOG
2- SEE GIF BELOW
1 - The most polite thing to do is to force feed yourself and stick it out. You don't want to be rude and even though you might not like what you're eating, you just force it down like bad medicine. This is the right thing to do but sometimes people hate certain ingredients SO much that it makes them gag.
2 - Chew it but then spit it out into the napkins. Yeah, you're probably going to get caught and there is only so much you can fit into that napkin. Plus if it's not disposable... what are you going to do with that napkin.
3- Fill up on side dishes. Fill up on the rice. Fill up on the mash potatoes. Fill up on veggies. Eat a very minimal amount of the main dish. It will look like you ate more than you actually did.
4 - Plead sickness. ie "I'm not hungry".. or "my stomach is bother me for some reason" .. now BE SURE you say this BEFORE they serve the food because you don't want to imply that their food made you sick.
5- Put it in your pockets, take it to the bathroom and flush it down the toilet. You need to be really sneaky about this. Nobody can see you stuffing the food in your pockets. If they you get caught, you're going to have a really difficult time explaining yourself. If you are
able to pull this off without anyone noticing, find a good time to excuse yourself and make a b-line to the b-room. Then you need to break up the food so that you don't stuff up the toilet. If you stuff up the toilet with the food that you supposedly "ate"... yeah that's the worst thing that could possibly happen.
TWO THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO:
1- FEED IT TO THE DOG
2- SEE GIF BELOW
Friday, February 28, 2014
Monkey Steals GoPro Camera
These silly GoPro videos keep popping up and going viral. A lot of people are claiming they are fake. There was one recently of a GoPro falling out a of plane and landing in a pig pen.
This one shows a guy setting his camera up to record his interaction with some monkeys and then a pair of hands grabbing the camera and playing with the it for a bit, even at one point filming himself. Toward the end of the video it appears the monkey is taking the camera out of it's protective casing and you hear some cursing about the camera being in danger.
This one shows a guy setting his camera up to record his interaction with some monkeys and then a pair of hands grabbing the camera and playing with the it for a bit, even at one point filming himself. Toward the end of the video it appears the monkey is taking the camera out of it's protective casing and you hear some cursing about the camera being in danger.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
10 Horrifyingly Inappropriate Pictures or Ronald McDonald
Ronald? Is that you? Judging by the internet, many people seem to think that the red-headed clown mascot is a pervert.
Perhaps these photos are part of the reason why the fast food chain has distanced it's company from the friendly clown.
Perhaps these photos are part of the reason why the fast food chain has distanced it's company from the friendly clown.
Look at the cute little Ronald Doll! This doll was very popular in the 80s
NOTE: SOME OF THESE PHOTOS ARE NSFW.. SCROLL AT YOUR OWN RISK
This Ronald seems to have taken a page from Pennywise
And you thought Santa Claus was the only character that could make
small children scream in horror? SMH ..no way!
Ronald may have chugged a few too many beers with his Chicken McNuggets
In case you had any doubts, the curtains do match the drapes
Transgender Ronald has a very nice rack
Clowns and Animals get along a little too well
Being a clown means doing funny things....and what's funnier than a photobomb?
Giving a whole new meaning to the phrase "Happy Meal"
No words..
After everything you've just seen, can you blame her?
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Roller Coaster Freak Out
We've all been there... it's so typical of life how it resembles a rollercoaster.
Friday, February 21, 2014
Snappy Comeback Insult Meme
"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid.. I really thought you already knew"
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Funny Comeback to Insult
Somebody insult you? Don't take that crap! This is a great comeback.
I would insult you back but Mother Natures has already done such a fine job, I just couldn't compete.
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