Funny Movie Quotes

"Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?" - Bluto, Animal House

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue" - McCroskey, Airplane

Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious?
Dr. Rumack: I am serious. And don't call me Shirley. - Airplane

"Marriage is like an unfunny, tense version of 'Everybody Loves Raymond'.- Pete, Knocked Up

"Everybody's dick look big on 60-inch TV. My sister's dick look big on TV." - Mooj, 40 Year Old Virgin

"Oh Lord! Do we have the strength to pull off this mighty task in one night...or are we just jerking off?" - Reverend Johnson, Blazing Saddles

"I crap bigger than you" - Curly, City Slickers

"Ray. If someone asks if you are a god, you say, "yes!" - Winston, Ghostbusters

"I've been frozen for 30 years. I've got to see if my bits and pieces are still working" - Austin Powers

"Everybody knows you never go full retard" -  Kirk Lazarus, Tropic Thunder

"I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hampster, and your father smelt of eldeberries!"- French, Monty Python Holy Grail

"It's like having sex. It's a painstaking and arduous task that seems to go on and on forever, and just when you think things are going your way, nothing happens." -Lt. Frank Drebin, The Naked Gun 2 1/2

"The last time I had a pap smear, the guy needed leather gloves and an oyster shucker" - Magda, There's Something About Mary

"Sometime my sister, she show her vazhïn to my brother Bilo and say "You will never get this you will never get it la la la la la la." He behind his cage. He cries, he cries and everybody laughs. She goes "You never get this." But one time he break cage and he "get this" and then we all laugh. High five!" - Borat

"I'm glad he's single because I'm gonna climb him like a tree" - Megan, Bridesmaids

God gave men brains larger than dogs' so they wouldn't hump women's legs at  cocktail parties.”
   – Kate Libb, Hackers

“Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or  something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.”
  -  Harry Dunne , Dumb and Dumber



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