Sunday, March 30, 2014

College Course in "Miley Cyrus"

How about an easy "A" in college "Twerking 101"..?? It's happening folks!  Scholars registered at Skidmore College in upstate NY, are likely to be twerking for their study credits this summer season . The college has reported it’ will be incorporating “The Sociology of Miley Cyrus : Race , Class , Gender and Media” to its directory of  course studies. Based on the School webpage , the students are going to analyze primary matters of internationalization, considering the interplay among race, class, and also gender, along with a take on feminist analysis of mass media and sociology of media in regards to the Miley “problem.” Miley is the newest musical artist to be the focal point of a college or university course , Rutgers University currently provides a course on Beyonce not to mention college students who enroll in Georgetown may take a course on Jay-Z . Meanwhile, we're holding out for a course in Beiber Bottle throwing.

Man Arrested For Trying to Sneak Weed Into Senate

A man actually tried to sneak weed into the Senate Gallery. US Capitol Police in DC say 32 yr old Sherman Edwards Jr was arrested Thursday afternoon after the pot was found during a routine search. Visitors to the Senate have to go through metal detectors and have their belongings searched to get inside. Police say officers found a "green leafy substance" that later tested positive for marijuana. Edwards has been charged with possession of both marijuana and drug paraphernalia. Hang in there stoner, weed will probably be legal soon. 

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

45 Hilarious Condom Slogans

Here are 45  hilarious "Use a CONDOM" Slogans. 
Note: some of these hilarious slogans are NSFW

1 - A crank with armor will never harm her
2 - No glove, no love!
3 - Don't be a punk, cover your junk
4 - Cover with a bag before you shag
5 - Don’t be silly wrap your willy
6 - Before you schwing wrap up that thing
7 - Cover your stump before you hump
8 - Don't be cranky cover your wanky
9 - When in doubt, shroud your spout
10 - Don’t be a loner, cover your boner
11-  Use your scruple, wrap up your pupil
12- before you bone, dress the throne
13 - You can’t go wrong if you shield your dong
14 - If you’re not going to sack it, go home and whack it
15 - If you think she’s spunky, cover your monkey
16 - If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize
17 - It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
18 - If you go into heat, package your meat
19 - While you’re undressing venus, dress up your penis
20 - Especially in December, gift wrap your member
21- Never deck her with an unwrapped pecker
22 - Don’t be a fool, vulcanize your tool
23- The right selection will protect your erection
24 - Wrap it in foil before checking her oil
25 - follow the code, contain your load
26 - If you wanna please her, don't disease her
27 - Unless you want a kid, put on a lid
28 - Don’t do a thang until you wrap your wang
29 - Wrap it in latex or she’ll get your paychecks
30 - Be cleaner, cover your weiner
31 - Before you do your lickin wrap your chicken
32 - Don’t be a noodle wrap your doodle
33 - Don't be a waif, rubbers are safe
34 - Before you heehee cover your peepee
35 - Make sure he has them, before you gasm
36 - Don't just bang..cover your wang
37 - It doesn't take a genius to cover your penis
38 - Constrain the little head before you stick it in the shed
39 - Cloak the joker before you poke her
40 - Cover your rocko before stuffing her taco
41 - Canvas that trailer before you nail her
42 - When it starts to bloat, put on a raincoat
43 - Cover your pole before entering her hole
44 - Wrap up your pin before sticking it in
45 - Canvas your dome before sliding home

Monday, March 24, 2014

Youtube is the "Trailer Park" of the Internet

Here are just a few examples of why Youtube is considered the "trailor park" of the internet. Scrolling through the comments you will find so many trolls firing off as many offensive things they can possibly say. Nothing is off limit - racism, homophobia, misogyny, overweight people, drunk girls. The examples below are just a few examples of how low the trolls can go on Youtube.  

Thursday, March 20, 2014

5 Really Scary Creepy Carnival Rides

As the summertime approaches and summer activities start to ensue, the opportunties to get outside and enjoy some festivals, street fairs, carnivals and other fun stuff. Right?  Perhaps... Carnivals are scary. When you're a kid you don't really take the time to think about the jankity factor behind the fact that many of these rides are assembled and disassembled and reassembled thousands of times every year. Then you start to get a little older ..and one day you get on the Ferris Wheel and notice a loud creaky noise after your first lift up in the car. Then you look over your shoulder and make the observation that there is nice rusty bolt holding your swing  from falling while you're approaching 100 feet up in the air. That's when you start to regret having scarfed down that delicious candy apple earlier at the fair. As the panic and nausea sets in, you realize that the fear is not a response to motion sickness... it is a response to being scared sh*tless that the ride is going to fall apart.

Here are the top 5 scariest carnival rides:

The Tagada
You probably won't find this crazy ride anywhere in the US - with good reason! The Tagada is a ride where the riders take a seat in a rounded bowl that have NO seatbelts or even restraints! So what keeps the riders from falling out? There are basically bars behind the riders that they are supposed to grab onto and hold on for dear life. The ride begins with simple spinning much like the spinwall ride. Then the music starts jamming and then hydraulic arms begin to bounce the bowl forcing the riders to bounce up and down from their seats. It's the responsibility of the riders to keep themselves from falling or being thrown out of their seats. The Tagada is usually operated manually by a technician as they synchronize the bounces with the beat of the music. In some cases riders will be informed the ride has ended.  Then the riders will get up to exit and then BOOM - the technician will restart the bouncing causing almost everyone on the ride to go down. Oh fun! Tagada rides are often associated with personal injuries to the occupants, along with ejections from the ride, or even broken bones of riders who fall into the middle of the ride. A number of street fairs ban the Tagada ride. Hmm.. Wonder why?

The Skywheel aka Double Ferris Wheel
This ride is whole a lot scarier than it looks. At first glance, it looks like a nice mild ferris wheel... but then you get on and realize it's much faster and scarier than it looks as the two ferris wheels spin independently of one another, the large boom rotates with major drops when you rotate and fall from the very top.  The Sky Wheel became a popular carnival ride in the 1960's and many people enjoyed riding the double wheel into 80s. These days it is rarely seen at carnivals due to high maintenance and transportation costs. Unlike the Tagada, safety doesn't appear to be an issue with the Skywheel. 

The Spider Ride AKA Octopus
The fear of this ride comes from the history of bad accidents. 
It looks harmless enough, but being in one of the  8 spinning cars attached to eight arms and moving up and down in randomly might also prompt some major nausea from riders. 

The Zipper
Another ride that hit the midway scene in the 60s, the Zipper has individual  caged in cars that each rotate along a frame that spins around like a Ferris wheel in the shape of a hair pin. The Zipper isn't all that fast, but with the rocking motion combined and whipping around, thrill-seekers experience prompt bursts of speed almost always flipping the cars over..sometimes up to three flips in a row. It's enough to put anyone slightly claustrophobic into a sudden panic when they first lock you into the small-spaced cage.

Carnival Haunted Houses
As far as Haunted Houses go, these rides might not be all that scary...they don't have live actors trying to grab at your feet. You usually sit in a car that takes you on a small zig zag journey through a creepy dark place. It's safe to say these rides are certainly creepy. Riding along in these dark and smelly assembly flimsy haunted houses is enough to creep you out for all the wrong reasons. 

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

30 Most Annoying Phrases and Terms Ever Used

Here are the top 30 most annoying terms, words, metaphors and phrases ever:

1 - "No offense, but...."
You know if someone says that before they say what they're gonna say.. it's probably going to be offensive. 

2- "My bad"
My mistake is what you really mean..or I screwed up. 

3- "It is what it is"
And what is that? 

4-"Needless to say"
If it's needless to say then why are you saying it? Is needless a word?

5- "Don't go there"
Oh I'm sorry. Is this topic of discussion off limits? 

6- "Anywho"
Anywho? Who is any? You're just trying to move along the discussion.

7-"Worst case scenario" 
Thanks for letting me know what is probably going to happen.  It's never good.

8- "I'm not a fan"
Not a fan? Oh how polite of you. Just say you don't like something

9- "Yolo"
I will kill you and you only die once too. 

10- "To be honest"
Great. Thanks for making me question the sincerity behind everything else you might say!

11- "Tell us how you really feel" 
Since that was how I really felt, I will now tell you a lie. Oh how lovely condescending comments really help forward a discussion.  

12- "Just sayin'"
Ohh...I thought you were singing. 

13- "Seriously?"
No. Just make me repeat it for no reason.

14- "I'm in your camp"
Great. Let's make some s'mores and go snipe hunting.

15 -"I hate to say it, but I told you so"
Shut up. You love to say I told you so because you were right, and I was wrong.

16- "Don't take this the wrong way"
This immediately makes me go on the defense. 

17- "Literally!"
This word is literally Overused..and literally annoying as hell.

18- "Sorry not sorry"
If you're not sorry then don't say sorry. BTW I'm not sorry either. 

19 -"Boys will be boys"
 But I expected them to be unicorns

20 -"Why you hatin?"
I'm not hatin', I just don't like that person

21- "To be fair"
You're just trying to make excuses for someone or justify a situation.

22- "Whatever"
This timeless blow-off will probably never grow old or go out of style.. whatever

23- "Just to play devils advocate" 
Shut up...You just want to argue. 

24- "Here's the thing"
I smell a big "but' coming on

25 -"The ball is in your court"
In that case I will keep in or throw it for my dog to fetch. 

26 - "Are we on the same page?"
I didn't realize we characters in a book

27 - "You're barking up the wrong tree"
Now you just compared me to a dog. Thanks! 

28 -"Why don't you grow a pair?"
If you're talking about testicles, and you're talking to a woman then you have a problem. If you're talking to a man, you just insulted his sack. 

29 - "That's just the way the cookie crumbles"
If a cookie were to crumble, I would hope it would be in your mouth

30 - "Get a life"
As in living? If I'm alive and talking to you, then clearly I'm not dead. 

Monday, March 17, 2014

5 Funny Celebrities Tweets About Today's Earthquake

Emile Hirsch
Dane Cook

Jimmy Kimmel

Zach Braff

Arsenio Hall

Howie Mandel

Saturday, March 8, 2014

How to Avoid Someone That You NEVER Want to See Again

We all have our reasons for removing certain people from our lives that we no longer wish to interact with on a daily basis or in some cases, on a never-basis. It could be an ex boyfriend/girlfriend, former co-worker/boss, friend of a friend that was never a friend or even a former friend that you had a falling out with. While we certainly don't want to be reminded of our own personal little past dramas, it's important to realize that it's a small world.. after-all. Yes it is, but we are only going to say that once! Chances are you may eventually run into the person that you never wanted to see again. It could be a fleeting moment at the mall or supermarket parking lot. Or it could be a more long-term thing such as having to do business with that person or finding out they are the cousin of your sister/brothers fiance.. The point is, unless you move to another planet, you might have to see this person again. The level of awkwardness depends on how you left the relationship and how you handle the interaction. If the last thing you said to them was something insulting or vicious, it will probably more awkward.  Perhaps they cursed you out. If this is the case, then it will be less awkward for you and probably more awkward for them. 

Either way, here are a few options in handing the situation:

1. Complete Avoidance
If this is a fleeting moment of quick passerby, and you really don't feel comfortable facing the other person, your best bet is to completely avoid them. They might not even notice or see you. Or if they do see you, hopefully they will play the same exact card pretending they didn't see you either. Hide from them if you have to and then get the hell out of there. If they see you, pretend you didn't see them. If you accidentally make eye contact, quickly look away...and then MOVE MOVE MOVE your ass as far away from them as possible. Leave! 

2. Quick Subtle Acknowledgement
This is a smile, a wave or a nod. Very brief eye contact and then look away. This is very risky if you don't want to get in a conversation with them.  They could perceive this as an invitation to engage in a conversation and "catch up"...uh oh.. if your intention was to avoid a conversation with them, then you need to quickly think of an exit strategy. You won't have that much time as they begin their approach. If you have kids, you need to "pick them up." If you have nieces or nephews you also have to "go pick them up." Or you could be running late to a meeting.. business meeting. Perhaps you need to "go to work"... oh and key phrase "Hi, good to see you.. I gotta run I'm late, but it's great seeing you..OK.take care" ..and once again. MOVE it!

3. Friendly Conversation - Be Oh-SOOO nice.

Sometimes you need to be the better person. By being the better person you are either going to make them feel really good or really guilty. You see them and you give them the biggest smile in the world. Even if you think they are not your friend, you pretend they are and try to be as genuine as you possibly can. If you don't like the person, just remember this: keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer. They don't need to know you don't like them. Say hello. Ask them how they're doing. Try to keep the conversation focused on them and not your life. If they ask about your life, try to keep your answers brief and then go back to suggestion of getting the hello outta there. That's when you excuse yourself and say you "gotta run" but of course make sure you tell them it's good to see them and all that other BS. If they ever did anything mean to you, they will feel bad. 

4. Screaming Match/Attack 
This is only for those that have replayed your last conversation with this person in your head SO many times and wish you had said something that you didn't say. Or if you left feeling like it would be bad if the two of you ever met in a back alley. It could be your only chance to finally tell them off. When you see them, you approach them with all the anger that you have been holding onto and finally give it to them. Hulk MAD. Hulk SMASH.. Right? No. This won't make things better. This will only make things worse. Don't do it. But if you're gonna do it be ready for things to escalate and be ready to deal with assault and harassment charges. 

5. Let It Go and Be Friends Again?
Sometimes, friendships can be salvaged. Not always. But sometimes they can. Maybe enough time has passed. Maybe you have matured or the other person has matured. Maybe you both have matured and you come to the realization that it's silly to hold grudges. You may have had some good reasons for cutting this person out of your life. You don't have to be BFFs, but you can still be on friendly terms

Friday, March 7, 2014

10 Funny Gifs to Get In The Mood For Summer!

Winter is almost over. We've been pounded this winter season by relentless ongoing snow storms and sub-zero temperatures accompanied by polar vortex's.  From the north to midwest to the deep deep south, everyone got hit at some point over this past winter. So who is ready for summer? 

Well, we have some good news.. ONLY 12 DAYS LEFT UNTIL SPRING!

Here are Ten hilarious Summer-Funny/Ridiculous Win/Fail Gifs to get in the mood for some warmer weather!